We had a small party with Leigh’s family yesterday before which was lovely as she has two cousins who are 4 and 2 and it was nice to see them starting to play with each other more. Granny had made a cake and although Imogen was very bemused as to why the lights were turned off and a cake on fire was put in front of her with the adults singing (badly!), we all enjoyed it!

Then today, her birthday, we both took the day off and just had a lovely day with her. We went out for lunch and she ate a whole child’s portion of pasta and most of the ice cream too! We gave her the rocking horse we bought months ago and she was scared of him, hopefully she’ll get over that, it took us ages to choose it!

We’ve another party on Saturday with my family – I have ambitiously invited everyone for lunch, but am now thinking that a proper hot lunch for 18+ adults and 6 children is a bit much! I need to remember it’s not that easy to manage mass catering now I have Imogen to also distract me!

Having Imogen’s birthday has made me reflect lots over the past year and I am very glad I have this blog to remind me of some of the highlights (and scares!) In some ways the time has flown by, but then when we try to remember how she was just a few months ago when she didn’t sit up or move and it’s impossible! What I can say though is that this has been the most amazing year of my life and we are both so thrilled that Imogen has joined our family. Yes, it is tiring, stressful and hard work at times, but it’s also very rewarding and I can’t believe how intense my love for her is – I just hope I can still say that in a few years when she can answer back!

I think now Imogen is 1 it is time to let another new mum have the chance to share their journey and look forward to reading their experiences. I have enjoyed being able to capture my fantastic year with Imogen and hope someone has enjoyed reading it!

They had lunch, again, weird to see two babies at the table, and then we took them to the park in their buggies. After a long walk they both went to sleep and we left them in the buggies whilst we pottered around. So all in all they were both awake for probably less than two hours, which covered two meal times, a go in the swings and some play time which went OK! So haven’t been totally put off having others round – as long as Leigh is there too!

Added to that she has started a very, very clingy phase and has now cried heavily every morning for five days, meaning so have I! I know she stops as soon as I leave (probably way before I do!) and she is always very happy when we actually get there, so it’s not the nursery – and for all the reasons I’ve said before I know it’s the right thing for us both, but it doesn’t stop me feeling bad about it & constantly questioning my values. Hopefully the phase will pass, but in the meantime I have started leaving work earlier so we get home at a decent time and that has lifted the pressure. I thought I was having a breakdown the other day and was also upset that I was finding it hard to cope when so many other women seem to have no issues at all.

Once we’re both settled into the new routine again though I know it will be easier, just need to work on getting the work/life balance right! I’m sure that will be a theme until she leaves home now though, guess that’s part of being a parent!

Imogen loved it though and was the hostess with the mostess! She crawled up to every mum at some stage to give them a cuddle and spent the whole afternoon smiling and laughing – even when she had her nappy changed which is rare in itself these days!

As soon as they all left though she completely faded as the tiredness caught up with her, it was like she had managed to keep herself going for her guests!

This morning I had an important meeting at 9.00 so was determined to leave on time for once – which is always where it starts to go wrong! Imogen was tired and so everything went a little slower and was more of a trauma. I then checked her nappy about 4 times as the morning present for mummy hadn’t materialised and, sure enough, it came just as we got into the car, so it was back to the changing table!

Then after throwing her dummy away several times and then crying for it so I had to keep grappling behind my seat to try to find it at traffic lights, she eventually napped five minutes away from nursery so was upset when she had to wake again.

Then for the first time ever she cried inconsolably when I tried to leave her at nursery and was trying to climb up my legs. All the frustration at being late then turned into massive guilt – she is still so small and the world is so big for her and sometimes I think I forget that as she adapts so well 99% of the time.

She did calm down and as soon as she saw her favourite toys she was happy again, I think it was just tiredness! Bizarrely, her favourite toy at nursery, by the way, are two hair curlers that fit inside each other – she is obsessed by putting things in other things or lids on containers – she loves shape sorters and is incredibly good at them!

Anyway, it’s in now and she loves it. It makes her look tiny and she sits with her legs crossed, watching everything go past the window with awe laughing with us – I haven’t laughed so much for years as we do now with Imogen. The harness makes it look like she’s in a high speed rollercoaster but it’s very sweet!

The other ironic thing is, now she has them she hates them and cries every time we try to get her to wear them!