Ok, not as bad today, probably helped that I slept too! No crying from Imogen and when I dropped her off one of the managers came to see me to reassure me they would not swaddle her and also addressed my other concerns. I felt that they were more friendly to us both today. I also spent some time looking at alternatives so felt more in control. I think I am probably looking for issues at this stage and just need to keep a watch on things. At the end of the day, it is a big change for us both so I guess it will take time to settle down into a new routine. I have a renewed admiration for working mums now though!
Ok, we’ve had a bad day now! Maybe I’m not as settled to a new routine as I thought! The main problem seems to be sleep. She’s been ok with us for a while now in terms of going down at night and in the day, her first nap; she will take very easily in her cot. After that, we are normally out and she tends to catch her naps in the car between visits, so we’ve never really established a good routine.
Coupled with that she’s at a stage where she can roll and twist in all directions; getting trapped in uncomfortable positions rather than lying nicely on her back like she used to! I think that at nursery they have been struggling to get her to go down quietly for a nap which is disruptive to the other babies so they seem to still be swaddling her even though it’s been very hot and I had mentioned I would rather they didn’t.
The result is that she has stopped going to sleep so well at night and at the weekends it is a napping nightmare! This has been upsetting me so much that I was awake last night from 2-6am getting myself all worked up and stressing about what we could so about it. Also, this morning was the first time she cried when I left her, prompting more tears from me!
After a fruitless day at work where I couldn’t concentrate, I left early to ’surprise’ the nursery and see what was happening. Imogen was in a high chair with her dummy in her mouth (although I have said this is for naps only) and her nappy hanging half off. She hadn’t slept well so was very teary and cried for me as soon as she saw me, all of which did nothing to alleviate me worries!
The manager was on holiday so I asked to speak to some one else and tried to tell them my concerns without getting emotional, but have left feeling even worse!
Oh my, I really hadn’t expected it to be so bad and have such strong emotional feelings! I really do think she will thrive at nursery and it will be great of her to have the stimulation of others but I hadn’t appreciated how much I would feel. I forgot to take my make up for touch ups as I was feeling so confident when I left home!
I was when I put her on the carpet and looked at her. She looked around with interest but also lost and small; that’s what started me off! I cried all the way to work and then most of the day every time someone asked how I was or texted me to check I was OK.
I was desperate to leave and drove like a maniac to get to her in the evening. She was fine, very excited to see me but also happy and smiling at everyone around her, which was very reassuring. I can’t see how people do this every day! ¼/p>
Had a ‘Keeping in Touch’ session at work today, which was very strange! Leigh’s parent came to look after Imogen as they live further away than mine so it’s nice for them to be able to come and spend some quality time with her. Luckily it was only a half day, so that made it easier to manage – although I have a full workshop day coming up! I really enjoyed catching up with what’s been happening and was feeling excited about the new challenges facing the team this year and looking forward to getting stuck in when I return to work. It’s really hard though to reconcile that with the fact it means I won’t be seeing Imogen for more than a couple of hours a day, four days a week. I guess you can’t prepare for that until it actually happens, but I do worry about it as I love being with her so much. I’m not planning to go back until late May, so hopefully by then I’ll be more used to the idea, although not sure you can ever be prepared!
