Ok, we’ve had a bad day now! Maybe I’m not as settled to a new routine as I thought! The main problem seems to be sleep. She’s been ok with us for a while now in terms of going down at night and in the day, her first nap; she will take very easily in her cot. After that, we are normally out and she tends to catch her naps in the car between visits, so we’ve never really established a good routine.
Coupled with that she’s at a stage where she can roll and twist in all directions; getting trapped in uncomfortable positions rather than lying nicely on her back like she used to! I think that at nursery they have been struggling to get her to go down quietly for a nap which is disruptive to the other babies so they seem to still be swaddling her even though it’s been very hot and I had mentioned I would rather they didn’t.
The result is that she has stopped going to sleep so well at night and at the weekends it is a napping nightmare! This has been upsetting me so much that I was awake last night from 2-6am getting myself all worked up and stressing about what we could so about it. Also, this morning was the first time she cried when I left her, prompting more tears from me!
After a fruitless day at work where I couldn’t concentrate, I left early to ’surprise’ the nursery and see what was happening. Imogen was in a high chair with her dummy in her mouth (although I have said this is for naps only) and her nappy hanging half off. She hadn’t slept well so was very teary and cried for me as soon as she saw me, all of which did nothing to alleviate me worries!
The manager was on holiday so I asked to speak to some one else and tried to tell them my concerns without getting emotional, but have left feeling even worse!
It’s amazing how much easier it got so quickly. It’s just like having two lives. When I’m at work, I’m totally there and feel like I’ve never been away and ditto for when I’m with Imogen. I can’t believe I’m a worker again. Very weird.
Imogen has been very happy to be left and picked up, so that helps. I’m sure there will be worse days to come but for now it feels like a normal routine already. The best thing is that I only work four days a week so the weekend starts now!
Oh my, I really hadn’t expected it to be so bad and have such strong emotional feelings! I really do think she will thrive at nursery and it will be great of her to have the stimulation of others but I hadn’t appreciated how much I would feel. I forgot to take my make up for touch ups as I was feeling so confident when I left home!
I was when I put her on the carpet and looked at her. She looked around with interest but also lost and small; that’s what started me off! I cried all the way to work and then most of the day every time someone asked how I was or texted me to check I was OK.
I was desperate to leave and drove like a maniac to get to her in the evening. She was fine, very excited to see me but also happy and smiling at everyone around her, which was very reassuring. I can’t see how people do this every day! ¼/p>
I have now visited more than 20 nurseries within a 40 mile radius at least of home. The problem is I also have a 45 minute commute to my office, so I need to try to minimise the amount of extra detours to a nursery, for both our benefits as the last thing I imagine Imogen (or I!) will want to do after a long day at nursery is sit in a lot of traffic!
I can’t believe the difference in quality of nuseries. You can just get a feeling as soon as you walk in and there are plenty with fantastic facilities but no enthusiasm from the staff - it’s such a hard balance. I’ve decided I need to be more flexible, especially as 95% of those I have visited don’t actually have any spaces!
It’s incredibly stressful as well. Each time I phone a new place I have to wait one to two weeks to visit and then when I get there something has always let it down. Like the one where half the babies were covered in mess and half dressed, or the one where you had to take your own food, or the one that could only do two days a week instead of four, apart from one month in the year!
I didn’t know this was going to be so hard!
I thought I was being excessively organised to visit and register on the waiting lists of about seven nurseries way back in September, before Imogen was more than a large bump! However, all of those nurseries still have no place and I am told I am unlikely to get a place until next summer. What a nightmare!
There’s pressure on me from myself, work and also financially to go back to work, but I’ve been finding it impossible to find childcare for Imogen - or at least a nursery I like.
Back to the drawing board with widening the search - need desperately to find something suitable earlier. May even need to consider a child minder, which isn’t an issue, I just prefer a nursery at this age to ensure she has the interaction with lots of other children and people. I think as well, secretly, I worry she will prefer the child minder to me if there is only one person taking care of her - more paranoia about returning to work, no doubt!
