Pearshaped!
Imogen has been at the new nursery for a while now and seems to love it. But I’m now finding the adjustment hard! It’s closer to home, which is great, but that means it’s further from work and it is a good hour between the two in rush hour, which means I’m always late & stressed! I constantly feel like I’m disappointing someone, whether it’s Imogen or work. Last night I was the last parent there, it was very dark and she was sitting very quietly on a chair ‘reading’ a book and I felt incredibly guilty!

Added to that she has started a very, very clingy phase and has now cried heavily every morning for five days, meaning so have I! I know she stops as soon as I leave (probably way before I do!) and she is always very happy when we actually get there, so it’s not the nursery – and for all the reasons I’ve said before I know it’s the right thing for us both, but it doesn’t stop me feeling bad about it & constantly questioning my values. Hopefully the phase will pass, but in the meantime I have started leaving work earlier so we get home at a decent time and that has lifted the pressure. I thought I was having a breakdown the other day and was also upset that I was finding it hard to cope when so many other women seem to have no issues at all.

Once we’re both settled into the new routine again though I know it will be easier, just need to work on getting the work/life balance right! I’m sure that will be a theme until she leaves home now though, guess that’s part of being a parent!